THE REVEREND TROSPER'S MISSION

GREETINGS MY FRIEND:

Perhaps you have heard of me and my mission. For years I have traveled throughout the United States and Canada preaching the gospel, exposing the evil influences of alcohol, drugs, sex, movies, music and dancing that have led to the demise and debauchery of mankind while ignoring the ideals of the lord our savior. The mission has been successful; freeing many from their anxieties, fears, worries, depression and their feelings of lack of control of their own lives.      I have had help in proselytizing this endeavor in the bodily form of my assistant, Clyde. While I would preach to the high ideals we should all aspire to; raising my voice and temperament to the lofty heights of the firmament above me, Clyde would sit at the corner of the stage or podium and would, with reddened and bleary eyes, cough, wheeze, and drool on his tattered clothing. A perfect example of where the debauchery would lead.      Unfortunately, last summer Clyde died.      A mutual friend of ours, however, has given me your name as his replacement. The pay is not substantial, the accommodations are reasonable, the travel opportunities are great, and the rewards for serving the mission are awesome.      I do not expect the position to be vacant long, so please respond at your earliest convenience to:

THE REVEREND TROSPER'S MISSION PO Box 2384, Paso Robles, CA 93447

Yours in faith, Rev. Barry R. Trosper

(Donations are deductible)